Quick Review: Halo 3 ODST
September 30, 2009 at 2:20 pm | In Quick Review | 2 CommentsTags: Adam Baldwin, Bungie, Car sick, Halo 3, Motion Sick, Nathan Fillion, Nausea, ODST, Seasick
Ever wanted an all-day deep sea charter fishing trip, but lacked the money and time to commit to it? Never fear. Play the campaign for Halo 3 ODST for thirty minutes as the Rookie in night-time New Mombasa and you will have the lingering green-in-the-gills, lie on your bed with the pillow over your face wanting to die nausea usually reserved for small boats at high seas with inexpert captains taking waves broadsides. How do they achieve this? Make it dark, give your helmet a low light mode that doesn’t illuminate anything, but draws yellow borders around it and brightens the neon red lights of the city. Now give the camera a high turning speed and blur the brightened lights into a neon bleary smear. Now force the player to enter buildings and search dark halways with most walls right in front of their face. Now force the player to search for slightly more garishly yellow borders to download audio of an 800-pound man eating kebabs and burping. Play for fifteen to thirty minutes and you’ll be making deals with God to stave off hollering your lunch into the toilet.
But it’s kewl they have Mal and Jayne from Firefly!
Negative Onlies
September 25, 2009 at 1:37 pm | In Writing | 5 CommentsTags: English Language, Negative Only, Usage
There are certain words and phrases that have accumulated in cultural parlance for which the positive use is vestigial, but the negatory enjoys widespread use.
For example, whenever somebody retains their faculties through a surprising, or violent occurrence they are referred to as “unfazed.” But rarely do you hear somebody relate: “I was completely fazed!” Faced maybe, depending on their vices, but never fazed.
When was the last time you heard someone telling you how great requited love feels? Or described their composite mixture as adulterated? If irregardless is an incorrect version of regardless, what is the form one should use when they want to admit that someone’s point is valid, regardful?
Also there are words referencing a thing’s opposite that are never really applied to that opposite. People refer to old people as “Spry” to indicate that they aren’t bunched up or gnarled or stiff, but you never hear young people, commonly thought of as vigorous/flexible/gymnastic, referred to as spry.
What other ‘Uns’ or negative onlies can you think of?
Sweet update
September 19, 2009 at 3:58 pm | In Uncategorized | Leave a CommentTags: Biscuit, Honey, Sausage, Writing Prompt
I was gonna write a sweet update today, but my wife just got back from Meijer with some awesome biscuits and my daughter is screaming No for the sheer joy of it, so I’ll give you a writing prompt:
Write a story in which a character realizes that he can’t write right now because some biscuits would go really awesome with some sausage or honey.
Twitter Story Published @Outshine
September 7, 2009 at 9:31 am | In Writing | Leave a CommentTags: @Outshine, Fiction, Micro, Nanofiction, Twitfic, Twitter
I have a humorous, near future, optimistic story up at the twitter magazine @Outshine. For those of you linking to this blog from there, welcome! Take a look around, you can find some posts about writing, science fiction, and some advice from the pros on worldbuilding for the short story length.
For those of you unfamiliar with @Outshine or twitter fiction in general, basically they publish stories that are 140 characters or less. There are a few of them out there, paying and for the love markets.
@Outshine
@Thaumatrope
@TweettheMeat
@Nanoism
@7×20
@seedpodpub
If you would like to follow me on twitter I am @jonrock.
Jon Rock’s Heroic Shades
September 7, 2009 at 7:14 am | In Uncategorized | 4 CommentsTags: Girl Glasses, Hancock, Jon Rock, Shades, Will Smith
I am a leader for my church’s high school youth group. For weeks I have heard about how feminine my shades are. Frequent comments include: “Dude, why are you wearing girl shades?” and “Those look ridiculous on you.”
I even put my shades on the line in an Xbox showdown with a student that has yet to happen.
Well all the controversy can peter out. While playing with my 2 yr old daughter (who by the way frequently referred to those glasses as, “Mommy’s”) the frame around the right lens snapped, liberating it from any further proximity to my face.
I have been told that they were leopard print, when they are plainly tortoise shell, that the lenses were too big and the ears too thin, but I still maintain, that although a wee bit fabulous those were in fact acceptably masculine glasses. Disagree? Well you are not just crossing me, you are crossing Will Smith. The tape on mine may make them look less heroic, but you can’t smack missiles around without some damage to your specs, right?
So if you still want to dis my shades you’ll have HancocK and JonrocK to answer to.
Blaow!
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- These shades look feminine to you?!!
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- Shoot a missile at this!!!
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