Rockblog

Ever wanted an all-day deep sea charter fishing trip, but lacked the money and time to commit to it? Never fear. Play the campaign for Halo 3 ODST for thirty minutes as the Rookie in night-time New Mombasa and you will have the lingering green-in-the-gills, lie on your bed with the pillow over your face wanting to die nausea usually reserved for small boats at high seas with inexpert captains taking waves broadsides. How do they achieve this? Make it dark, give your helmet a low light mode that doesn’t illuminate anything, but draws yellow borders around it and brightens the neon red lights of the city. Now give the camera a high turning speed and blur the brightened lights into a neon bleary smear. Now force the player to enter buildings and search dark halways with most walls right in front of their face. Now force the player to search for slightly more garishly yellow borders to download audio of an 800-pound man eating kebabs and burping. Play for fifteen to thirty minutes and you’ll be making deals with God to stave off hollering your lunch into the toilet.

But it’s kewl they have Mal and Jayne from Firefly!